Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
