does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
