Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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