my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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