I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
