i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
