There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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