I am in a vortex of obligation.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
