i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
