my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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