He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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