But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
