the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
