this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
