YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
