I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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