i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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