He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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