There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
