The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We talked him into tasing himself.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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