first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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