This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
