Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
