Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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