I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize