Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
