Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
