Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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