Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize