if i can run in heels then i can drive
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
