Got a toothbrush?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
