she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize