I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
