Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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