why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
