You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
These tits shall not be calmed
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
