when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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