I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
