and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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