quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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