Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Couch. On fire.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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