No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I love having hate sex.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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