I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
