Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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