Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I need water and some morals
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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