He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
