Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
