no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
