What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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