Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
