jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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