i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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