therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
