I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
