what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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