Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
