I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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