so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
