She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
