there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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