I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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