i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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