i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
