We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
