oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We need a shit load of segways right now
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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