i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
