He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
