does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize