Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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