PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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