Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
