Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
