We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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