Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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